List the last 10 things you saw at the theatre in order:
1. Julius Caesar (Shakespeare's Globe)
2. Pitcairn (Shakespeare's Globe)
3. Doctor Scroggy's War (Shakespeare's Globe)
4. Hamlet (Royal Exchange)
5. Ghost From a Perfect Place (Arcola)
6. Seminar (Hampstead)
7. The Boy Who Climbed Out of his Face (Shunt)
8. Windows in Progress (Protein Dance)
9. Something Very Far Away (Unicorn)
10. Breeders (St James Theatre)
Ooh! Well, as much as I enormously enjoyed Christopher Logan's waspish Casca, Keith Ramsay's narcoleptic Lucius, and Will Mannering's everything, I suppose the answer here really is Luke Thompson's Mark Antony, having the WORST HANGOVER OF HIS LIFE.
Why did you go to see number two (Pitcairn)?
BECAUSE I LOVE RICHARD BEAN PLAYS HE'S SUCH A BRILLIANT WRITER WITH SUCH A GIFT FOR TIGHT PLOTTING AND RELATABLE CHARACTERS AND NOT TO MENTION HILARIOUS HILARIOUS JOKES nah I'm kidding, I went because it's Globe closing weekend and I always see everything at the Globe, particularly on closing weekend.
Can you remember a line/lyric from number three (Doctor Scroggy's War) that you liked?
I'm going with "Ralphy, waft me away". Something about the delivery suggested euphemism, which meant we giggled every time someone said "waft" for the entire rest of the weekend. I hadn't realised it was a word that turned up in both Julius Caesar and The Comedy of Errors, but apparently it is!
What would you give number four (Hamlet) out of ten?
An entirely predictable 8! A few of the performances dragged it down from a potentially higher rating, but the majority were excellent and the production did some really really nice things.
Was there someone hot in number five (Ghost From a Perfect Place)?
I think Florence Hall counts here, but although she is an exceptionally attractive lady, her physical appearance really pales next to the strength of her performance.
What was number six (Seminar) about?
Well, contrary to the implication of the early publicity shots, it was NOT a one-man piece of performance art about Roger Allam standing on a stage and hurling paper at the audience for two hours. I think it was about a bunch of two-dimensional stereotypes with a shared interest in creative writing, but some of the performances did manage to hint at unwritten third dimensions. I would have liked the paper hurling though.
Who was your favourite actor in number seven (The Boy Who Climbed Out of his Face)?
I don't recall programmes being for sale. I have never seen a cast list and am unable to find one online. Thanks to the costumes, I couldn't even use my eyes to visually identify anyone. But I have since discovered that Simon Kane was somewhere in those shipping crates, and I greatly enjoy his work on John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme, so I'm defaulting to him.
What was your favourite bit in number eight (Windows in Progress)?
It's such a charming piece in all that it feels mean to choose an individual part, but I was EXCEPTIONALLY fond of the section when Pandora got involved with the choreography and worked out a whole ridiculous routine for Prometheus behind Leda's back.
Would you see number nine (Something Very Far Away) again?
I've already seen it twice. Go on, have a guess.
What was the worst thing about number ten (Breeders)?
I really liked this play an AWFUL lot! The only issue I have is a vague abstract that just once it would be nice if a character in a play who said "I'm not having children" actually stood by that. It sounds silly, but when fictional people who say they're not having children are always changing their minds, then it makes it difficult for people to understand that when real people say they're not having children, they WON'T be changing their minds. I appreciate it's only a minor problem in the greater scheme of things, but it's still a problem.
Which was best?
Either Julius Caesar or Something Very Far Away.
Which was worst?
I continue to find "worst" a harsh word to use, but I suppose The Boy Who Climbed Out of his Face. I'm just not really sure I got anything out of it except a trip to Greenwich.
Did any make you cry?
I wept at Julius Caesar and Hamlet and Something Very Far Away, but not very much at any. Having a dry-eyed period I suppose.
Did any make you laugh?
I laughed a lot at many of them. I'd rather not specify.
Which roles would you like to play in any of them?
I'd like to be a pleb in Julius Caesar. I find it quite fascinating how here's a play that can't be downplayed as domestic drama and by necessity the city of Rome is as much a character (or array of characters) in its own right as any of the named roles. Plus I think the plebs get to have a lot of fun.
Which one did you have best seats for?
I suppose Ghost From a Perfect Place and Breeders, being front row centre, but I did manage to grab a cheap restricted ticket for Seminar that was completely delightful too.